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  • 每日一讀461:千萬不要讓窮人思維,拖累你的人生

    每日一讀 admin 4928℃ 0評論

    文 | 迷思牛
    前段時間回了趟家,竟然碰到了我們小縣城的“首富”——張叔。

    人們都說張叔是一個土財主,有錢沒文化,住300平的豪宅,出入都有司機開車,手指頭上還戴了一個翠綠的寶石戒指,可那又怎樣,不還是只有初中畢業的文化程度嘛。

    曾有很長一段時間,我都一直在納悶:張叔到底是靠什么取得如此大的成就?

    直到實在是忍不住好奇,問了我爸,才算是知道了個大概。

    自覺在學習上沒有任何天賦值,初中畢業以后,張叔就輟學在家,開始搗鼓一些小買賣。

    絕大多數人都選擇走父輩母輩的老路子,在家種地糊口;少數有其他想法的,則立馬陷入窮人思維——沒有錢,還是算了吧!

    我爸也是隨波逐流中的一份子,到了適婚年齡,按部就班地娶妻生子,一輩子待在村子里。

    可張叔不同,他那時租了個用面粉換面條的鋪子,村民們雖然沒錢,但最不稀罕的就是面粉,又恰逢農活繁忙,沒時間做飯,于是附近幾個村的幾百號人,都去張叔的店里換面條。

    有了一定積蓄以后,憑著張叔的腦子,他的事業越做越大:房地產、農業生態園、休閑度假村……各個項目都搞得有聲有色。

    縣城雖小,方寸也可以見天地。

    從農民出身、初中生學歷,再到如今的小縣城“首富”,在人生的一道道門檻和關卡中,張叔到底贏在了哪一個環節?

    我爸覺得,張叔贏在腦子靈光,也就是所謂的“聰明”上。我卻并不這樣認為。

    我們常會說一個人聰明,那聰明究竟指的是什么,是智商?還是情商?亦或者二者兼而有之?如果是,那智商到底又是什么?情商又是什么?

    在談聰慧、智商、情商、優秀、成功時,其實它們的終極指向都是這一件事:思維認知能力。

    原本可以和很多人一樣隨大流,難得的是張叔卻有自己獨到的見解和視野。

    說到底,張叔就是贏在了自己的思維認知能力上。

    在電影《摔跤吧!爸爸》中,為了讓兩個年幼的女兒成為摔跤手,飾演父親的阿米爾·汗,五點鐘就讓她們起床跑步,如果孩子們反抗或者偷懶,就剪去她們的長頭發。

    兩個女兒一開始不理解父親的做法,在該練習摔跤的時候,偷偷跑出去參加同伴的婚禮。

    但是卻被父親逮了個正著,這時,小姐妹對14歲的小新娘說出了心聲:“世界上哪有爸爸會逼迫女兒成為一個摔跤手的?上帝也不再會給任何人這樣一個父親。”

    沒想到,年紀輕輕的小新娘反倒是羨慕起她們擁有這樣的父親:

    我倒是希望上帝給我這樣一位父親,至少他很關心你們。否則我們的現實就是這樣:以女兒身降生的一刻起,就注定與鍋碗瓢盆為伍。

    終日操持家務,待到二八芳華,便要嫁為人婦。以此擺脫他的負擔,牽著他的手走向她的新郎。為那個她從未謀面的男人,相夫教子,這是她所有的使命。

    至少,你們的父親把你們當作自己的孩子。他為你們遮風擋雨,他為你們忍辱負重,他就是為了讓你們有自己的將來,有自己的人生,他又有什么錯呢?

    因為在印度,女性的一生注定要與鍋碗瓢盆為伍,終日要操持家務,怎么可能會“拋頭露面”呢。

    女孩子到了待嫁的年齡,就立馬被父母嫁給一個從未謀面的男人,從此相夫教子,這是她一生所有的使命。

    女人,從出生到生命結束,都是要一輩子待在家里。

    而小姐妹的父親卻與其他孩子的父母不同。他寧愿忍受周圍人的嘲諷和恥笑,也一定堅持讓自己的孩子,通過成為優秀摔跤手這種方式,改變女性既定軌道,擁有自己的人生。

    讓女孩子摔跤,在其他人的眼中是一種天方夜譚和愚蠢,但是在小姐妹父親的眼中,卻是改變孩子命運的方式。

    對于14歲的小新娘來說,她未來的人生空間只有一個房子那么小,而摔跤手小姐妹后來真的通過摔跤,拿到奧運冠軍,成為印度之光。

    她們用自己的親身經歷告訴全世界人,女性,也可以去征服浩瀚星空。

    電影情節不是虛構的,而是根據真人真事改編。

    你看,這就是思維方式的差異。即使在相同的環境下,人與人之間思維模式也會存在差異。

    影響到個人命運的,正是一個人的思維方式。它會潛移默化地改造你,并引領你在關鍵時期做出正確的決策。

    但遺憾的是,在現實生活中,絕大多數人壓根就沒有利于個人發展的思維方式,甚至是,忽略了思維認知能力的修煉。

    已故的美國作家David Foster Wallace在Kenyon 大學畢業典禮上,做了一個主題演講——《This is water》。

    演講以一個小故事作為開場:

    有兩條年輕的魚游來游去,碰巧遇見一條年長的魚從另一邊游過來,老魚向小魚點頭示意,打招呼:“孩子們,早上好。這里的水怎么樣啊?”

    而這兩條小魚繼續游了一會兒,其中一條魚兒終于忍不住問另外一條: “究竟什么是水啊?”

    生活在水中太久,已經不知道什么是水了,多么像現代人的集體畫像呀!

    成年人的生活需要早起,乘車到辦公室,應付一整天 8-10 個小時的工作,然后下班后去趟超市、回家做飯,放松一會兒就得早早休息。因為第二天又得周而復始,再來一遍。

    人的思維模式,很容易固化,甚至是退化。

    在這樣的環境下,很多人其實是被生活拖著往前走,被生活節奏所掌控,沒有意識去拓展認知邊界,也忽略了一個重要能力的鍛煉:思維能力。

    與其說性格決定命運,不如說思維方式決定一個人的命運。

    因為不同的思維方式,會產生不同的行為方式,繼而產生不同的結果,最終才會表現為不同的生命狀態。

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